I woke up that morning, I knew something bad had happened the night before or at least I behaved like a jerk. I hadn’t completely blacked out, but the pieces were not all fitting together. My head was killing me and I had to pee like yesterday.
So I hopped off the couch, and the pain in my right foot slammed me to the floor, I’m surprised I didn’t pee right there. Considered it I’m sure. Crap, I broke my foot, I’m home alone and I have to pee. None of this is going well. I scooted my butt to my phone and thank fully my neighbor was home and able to help.
We got there, and there’s just something about being at a registration desk and saying, “I think I broke my foot, I need to pee and I’m losing my crap I need the psych unit.” That really makes you wonder at what point in life all of this just went sideways. I finally got to pee.
They got me in a room, normally it would be a psych room, but due to my foot it was a regular ER room. They hooked me up to the heart monitor because of course they found a rapid heart rate. I was used to this by now. I knew the EKG would show normal activity just really fast. I had several hair-line fractures. Better than a full break I guess.
I was talking and talking and talking to my neighbor. Poor girl. Than just as quickly as I started I asked her to leave I wanted to be alone. My brain couldn’t make up its mind, talk about everything, or let the nothingness take control. At that point I wasn’t in control of it. They admitted me.
To be honest this trip the nothingness was really in control. I had given up, I didn’t want to keep trying, I just wanted the darkness to consume me and take me. Well it almost did.
It was pretty late by the time I got to my room that night, so I just crawled into bed. The next morning after my pancakes I was called into the psychiatrists office right away. I walked with my CNA using my crutches. I saw a few stars here and there, but that wasn’t unusual for me.
We arrived in his office and my social worker was there as well. This was great 2 birds 1 stone. I sat down and then things shifted. I like most people have had the feeling of throwing up before, but I was terrified I was going to lose control of all of my bodily functions. I grabbed for the side of the chair and asked if I could have a bucket.
My psychiatrist grabbed my wrist, opened the door and yelled something. The next thing I remember was realizing I was down on the floor with my legs up, with strangers standing over me. “Jeanie can you hear me?” I said yes, “Your blood pressure just dropped to 55/39 and we couldn’t find a heart rate for close to a minute. How do you feel?”
They put me in a wheelchair and took me to my room. I ended up with a IV and being stuck to that bed for 24 hours. The psychiatrist came to me from than on. They ran several EKGs during my stay, but nothing revealed anything. So I had to see a cardiologist when I got out.
If you’re wondering, yep I got to see that tunnel they all talk about. Maybe it was neurons firing in my head, but it was certainly there.
Anyways, once I saw the cardiologist and we got the Echo set up. It was discovered I have two leaky valves and the holter showed that I’m well into tachycardia 24/7. So heart meds in my 30’s it is.
The reason I share this story is because most mental illness come with physical illness as well. But we seem to want to treat the physical and ignore the mental. This is a mistake for all of us. This is a very costly mistake, one that drives up health care costs. Do you know how many doctor appointments I would not have needed if my mental health had been addressed properly? I’d guess 300. Not even a joke. Take a moment and google mental health and the medical issues that go along with them. When addressed in the proper order you will see a major decline in doctors visits, need for meds that could be going to other people and ER trips would seriously decline.
But this is really in the publics hands. Ignore it and it continues, do something about it, speak out, help someone in need and we begin to take back the control. It’s really up to each individual.