“Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.” C.S. Lewis

Failure: lack of success.

What a frustrating thing mood disorders can be. It’s a box of chocolates that  can go in so many different directions. And the medications that go along with it, are just as unpredictable. Let alone the side effects. And please don’t expect everyone to have the same side effects. I’ve been on Depakote, Klonipam, Propoanolo, Pramoprexol, and Seroquel and been awake for 3 days.

I met someone online just recently who has been going through the struggle of finding the right medication balance. This Friday I will be walking for him. He’s story is not mine, so I’m not ignorant to say I understand. I don’t, I have not stood in his shoes. What I can tell you is that the roller coaster he has been on has been very similar to a lot of us, drinking to cope with the obnoxious feelings. Ending up in the hospital because we are out of control. In my situation I’ve been very fortunate, the Mayo system is anti drugging you unless it’s necessary. So we go very slow with the meds.

I’m going to call him Steve. Steve would be placed on many meds and psych drugs can be brain changing. I have literally felt my brain shift after changing meds. Steve than was diagnosed with some very serious illnesses. And medicate.

Now he is in the process of a medical detox. Psych drugs can be just as horrible as crack to come off of. There come point where you just want someone to put a bullet in your head. I apologize for how blunt I am, but it’s the truth. Its hell.

They will than try to medicate him properly. The joys of the mind. But his story really reminded me of a quote from C.S. Lewis, “Failure, is a finger-post to success”. It does come but we have to read the signs to get there.

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