Over the years people have tried to give plenty of advice on how to handle my depression. In my mind, I have collected a few that I just want to straighten out for those who don’t understand….
“Just get out of bed.” That one I have heard plenty of times. That’s great I’d love too, but can you tell my brain to tell my body how exactly that is supposed to happen. Because right now I have no freakin idea.
“Can you just try for me?” I can’t try for me, how can I try for you? I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to talk myself into using the restroom let alone how I’m going to get dressed. This isn’t about me trying to for you it’s about me figuring out how to try at all.
“Must be nice to always have an excuse.” Ahh, I don’t want this, would someone take it from me? I just want to be the normal girl with the normal friends and the normal career. But I didn’t get that kind of lucky.
“If you don’t sleep the night before just stay up all day and your body will reset.” Yeah, wrong doesn’t work that way for us. It could be weeks before my “normal” patterns of sleep return. So please if I’m laying down, I’m not sleeping, I’m letting my brain get what little rest it can.
“It’s all in your head, your just lazy.” Lazy my rear end. Do you know how much work I do when I’m healthy? Do you know what my IQ is? (don’t look at my grammar or spelling that isn’t a very good example of my IQ) If I could just not go through this BS for like 2 years of my life I could at least set things up to be prepared. But I never got that chance. I got the crap ball and was told to roll with it.
“Stop looking for attention.” I don’t want your attention. I want you to not see me, to not hear me I want them to think I’m invisible. “Bitch” face got that one down. Why, because nobody approaches me. But no your all over here upset because I’m in a depressed state. Tell me, who needs attention?
“You don’t need the drugs.” Are you on drugs? Do you know the crap I did without them? Thank you, I’m keeping them. You can go your natural organic vegan holistic spiritual Buddhist zen dance. I’ll take my drugs. Oh and your essential oils as well. Not that those things can’t help. But for the love of Jesus (and I love Jesus) he gave me a miracle, it’s called Latuda I’m taking it.
“You can’t count on her.” Yep, your darn right you can’t. I can’t count on myself, imagine how I feel. Not knowing what Jean will wake up the next day. I want to be there, and my heart breaks, I cry I ruminate but my body says, “NO NO NO….” So I sit at home in my bed praying sleep will overtake me because this mental agony is killing me.
“Did you know exercise is the same as an antidepressant?” Have you ever tried to get a depressed person motivated to work out? Good luck. Let me know how that goes.
I could go on, those are the few on the top of my head. Feel free to add. It just amazes me at what people think they know about what we go through. When they don’t understand that bipolar is lifelong. I will come out of each depression, but I will go back in. This will be my life.