If you’ve never been on a psych drug before let me give you a small piece of what it’s like. Day 1, things feel off. As though everything has shifted, literally. From the walls to the trying to grab your can of pop, things visually are no longer in perspective.
Day 2, by this point you now have fingers working their way through your brain twisting and turning things, (God willing in the right directions). You are either extremely alert or extremely tired. Either way, sleep is really the only way out you have at the moment.
Day 3, mush mush mush mush. That’s it, there’s no more. Thinking, whats that. The fact you didn’t crap your pants right there is pretty amazing, (yes you remember there’s a toilet but ahhh tell your brain to tell your body to get there and see the response your brain has. It wants to respond but this hand in its head is squishing it like putty).
This continues for sometimes weeks. Lessoning and worsening depending on the medication.
Then out of freaking nowhere “AHHHHHHH THE HEAVENS HAVE OPENED”. You one day open your eyes get dressed, brush your teeth, and an hour later you think, “Shit I’m thinking!” Your symptoms have finally gone away or at least to a livable level. No longer are Martians coming after you for your long underwear. (I’ve heard stranger tails in the psych unit.)
But you must must must get through it. It’s hell, I won’t lie, but the pay off is worth it. Doctors, good doctors will work with you, if your symptoms are too harsh they are not going to force you to keep taking things that make life worse. But you must trust the process.